5-6 min read
Just as the title reads, this is the Season of Change. At the start of every new year, many people create resolutions and are working hard to stay on track to be successful. What many might not understand, is that change takes time. Often this is why people get discouraged and go back to their old habits. We put expectations on ourselves and when we fail, we will beat ourselves up or even give up completely. The fact of the matter is, it takes us a long time to learn our behaviors. Wouldn’t you think it holds true that it would take just as long (if not longer), to overcome them? Over the years I was one of those that just often set goals and would get frustrated when I didn’t succeed right away or had setbacks. Now after lots of practice and many tools, I am able to recognize that slow and steady wins the race. I work hard every day at being patient with myself so that I don’t fall back into my old habits and that negative self-talk does not take over. It’s a journey. And honestly, it’s easy to get discouraged or drift away from our goals when all the things in life are happening. I know I’m not the only one who feels this way. It’s just hard because often we don’t even realize it’s happening until we are in deep and at our breaking point.
Some may warn us but denial is so often our first instinct because then we would have to admit we are sinking. It takes making a conscious decision to take one’s own inventory on a regular basis, in order to make sure we are not creeping back to where we were. It’s hard work, but thankfully I have gained the right support and tools to help me work through it all and grow from everything I learn. There was a day that I would have just continued on in my complaining or negativity, rather than finding gratitude and forgiveness in all things. But now, I find gratitude for my experiences and forgiveness for not knowing any better.
Forgiveness has been topic of conversation the last week or so, which I am thankful for because it is always a good reminder. Growing up, forgiveness is not something that we practiced. Naturally that followed me through adulthood. It was a foreign concept to me when I started my recovery. And it took me years to unpack what forgiveness really means. There were many situations in my life that I look back on, that I realize would have been much different had I known forgiveness then. So instead I practice it now, even for myself, for not knowing any better. Plus now, when I am hurt or angry, I work hard to process my feelings, let things go and practice forgiveness everyday, for others and myself. It’s not about what someone might have done or how they hurt me. This is about freeing up the space in my mind and heart to welcome more positive things. I no longer feel the need to defend myself or try to be heard. Instead I let others make their choices, and then I just practice forgiveness and set healthy boundaries. Which is also such a great way for me to maintain relationships with people I care about. Besides, we are all only human beings, doing what we know in that moment. If we want to help them do different, we should do different. Lead by example, and practice those values in all our affairs. And you know what… no matter what happens, when I practice forgiveness, I win every time.
“Inner peace can be reached only when we practice forgiveness.”
Gerald Jampolsky
Since forgiveness has been playing such a big role in my life, I have the opportunity for all of these amazing positive things now! Even when life happens. Even when someone intentionally hurts me. Even when I have every right to be angry. And yes, even when I don’t follow through on this years resolution. Instead, I get to walk into 2022 knowing that this is the Season of Change, because whatever happens, I have all the tools and support that I need to continue my journey as a healthy individual and conquer it all with grace. Because I will show up to put in the hard work. Every. Single. Day.
Amber T