Speak your truth…
6-7 min read
Something I have been working really hard at these last few days is to unapologetically honor my feelings… even when I feel shame or like my feelings are wrong in some way. Honoring my feelings with kindness and really being present to allow myself to feel them fully, is a practice that allows me an opportunity to grow and to heal. To really turn toward them, rather than push away from them, opens things up for self-discovery. It also shows that I respect myself as an individual and that I have compassion for the fact that I am human, with human emotions. Someone asked me, ‘how do you honor your feelings?’. Well, I set aside time and create a space for myself, where I feel comfortable enough to feel my feelings and I allow myself to work through those feelings without judgment. Sadness for instance. I set myself up in a calming, judgment-free zone, with meditative music and plenty of tissues, so that I can work through why I am sad. I write it out in a journal, talk it out with a friend or my Higher Power, practice mindfulness and I let the tears flow. I honor the fact that I might be feeling guilt, abandonment, powerlessness, vulnerability, loneliness or depression. Instead of carrying all of those emotions with me or being in denial that they exist, I allow myself the time to work through them and really honor why they exist to me. This way they do not end up affecting me in negative ways. In the past, I was really good about denying my feelings access to surface. It was the example I had been given… to just push my feelings aside and move forward as if they didn’t exist. Not to mention when a person gets shut down enough, told they’re being too sensitive or even when ridiculed for feeling a particular way, it’s only natural that we shut down. I have come to learn that is not healthy for my well-being, and instead through lots of practice, I allow myself the space to process and dig deep as to why I am feeling a certain way.
All over the place I see people denying access to their feelings and pushing forward as if nothing is bothering them. And in doing so, outsiders can see when those same individuals become irritable and unreasonable, without even knowing it. Much like addiction, when we deny ourselves access to feeling our feelings, we cover it all up in other (unhealthy) ways… without even realizing it. And those same folks are so far deep into their denial, that there is nothing that we can do besides lead by example and practice vulnerability ourselves, to show others that it’s okay. When we create a safe space, we open up the opportunity for us to discover things about ourselves and others, that we likely wouldn’t have seen before. This is now a daily practice for me, to really check in with myself and take a moral inventory, so that I am honoring my feelings and I can work through them without denying them access to surface. This is what helps me to continue on as a healthy individual. This allows me to work through the healing process at a much more efficient pace. I also recognize that I once upon a time ago really struggled with reacting before thinking about how to respond. Letting the pressure build up to the point that all I could do was to snap, not even knowing why because I never even considered allowing myself time to work through anything I was going through. Instead I just pushed it all down deep and put one foot in front of the other in an attempt to push forward. It was an unhealthy, but very natural way of life that so many people lead. It is all around us. And reality is, the majority of people, are denying themselves access to their true feelings. That’s part of why vulnerability is so scary for most people. Being vulnerable means we open ourselves up and have to take a real hard look at ourselves. We might just discover something we have been in denial about, that we won’t like, or something we have yet to know about ourselves. We might discover that we are living a lie, or that we have been covering up true feelings because we are worried about judgment. Lately for me, it’s been guilt and selfishness. Those two negative feelings have been keeping me from really honoring or working through feelings I have… because they feel wrong. Once I realized I was not being true to myself, I took the time to identify those negative feelings and work through them… unapologetically. Reality is, it’s important for us to work through our emotions with honesty and respect, even if we don’t agree with them… our feelings are valid. Our feelings are an authentic expression of who we are on a deeper level. So allow yourself to feel the pain, discomfort and negative feelings, because we can’t have the light without the dark.
“I can transform my feelings by being present with them.”
– Gabby Bernstein
Having a daily practice of vulnerability and honoring one’s feelings, gives us the chance to grow beyond what we believe we are capable of. And to really own our feelings, gives us a possibility to improve our self-worth, self-acceptance and self-love. It’s important that we acknowledge our emotions and look deeply at who we are, so that we can be the best versions of ourselves and truly honor who we are as individuals, rather than denying access to what our deepest part of ourselves truly desires. True healing and really honoring oneself fully, comes when we give ourselves permission to feel what we are truly feeling at our core. And though this exercise takes time and lots of practice, a great place to start is to create a safe space, set aside a specific amount of time, and really give yourself that time to be vulnerable and present with yourself. Let the tears flow even. The rest will come in time. So honor yourself, and get to know your inner truth.
Amber T