Author: TenderFlameSoyCandles

Soy candle making business with a mission purpose of sharing our Experience, Strength & Hope and giving consumers an opportunity to contribute in creating a supportive community of recovery.
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Take Two…

My business cards came in today. I most definitely was not impressed. Honestly I was considering trying a new recipe tonight but instead I chose to complain to my mom (she’s a graphic designer) for an hour about what a terrible job they did. I mean we talked about other things too, it was actually more like 10 minutes but I wanted you to get an idea of my frustration level when I saw them haha. I can’t help myself… they are pretty bad. First they reduced my business card file size by a 1/4″ width and 1/8″ height which threw off my entire design. Which in turn caused the text to be pixelated. Then there was a typo on the back because they used the wrong file that was updated prior to print, but apparently they didn’t get the memo. Then to top it off, there was an almost invisible vertical line all the way down on the center of every single card I pulled from the box of 500… like I said, almost invisible but still visible. I just can not accept giving those out to my customers. Thankfully they are going to fix them at no charge and will make sure to print me out some to have right away so I don’t have to keep waiting. I’m pretty thankful they were so willing to reprint them for me.

It was probably meant to happen because the next 50 minutes on the phone with my mom was spent talking about recovery. We talked about recovery in many forms. You know, a lot of the times people don’t even realize they are in recovery when it first happens. Something tragic just happens to snap them into recovery. Some people take longer than others to enter recovery. Recovery is not the same for any two people. And recovery is a life long battle. Take my recovery for instance. For me, I have two aspects of my recovery (which I started almost 3 years ago) and yet I only share one side. Until I finally shared on here anyways. One portion of my recovery is for my own poor coping problems. I have definitely caused my share of issues during the days I had no awareness. And I have definitely coped poorly to hide my feelings. My poor coping has definitely affected my life. Now, the second part of my recovery is the hardest part. My family has been affected by alcoholism. My whole life turned around the day I realized alcoholism was what tore my family apart. It’s what got me focused. I will never be the same because of it. Some days are so hard that I think about how much easier life would probably be if I never opened my eyes to alcoholism, and the thought brings me to tears instantly because the reality is, I am so thankful and blessed that my Higher Power gave me sight, and I would never want to take that back. I would do everything exactly the same way again if I had to because it is exactly what needed to happen, even if it wasn’t the outcome I thought it would be. I would never take back fighting for my loved one… my best friend… my soulmate… for my family. For a long time my mom just didn’t understand why I fought so hard. She did not want to support my decision to fight. As a lot of people didn’t actually, but I did it anyways because I wanted to, and I would do it all over again if I had to. She finally understands and accepts that, and we had a really great talk about it tonight. It all came after sharing with her my business card horror story haha. That disaster was definitely meant to be. From the beginning she has known how this business got started, what inspired me, and why I continue to do it, and from day one she has been one of my biggest supporters even though she didnt agree completely. I’m so thankful I have been given the strength to stand up for what I believe in, even when it feels like I have everyone and everything fighting against me. Stay tuned Tender Flame followers. There’s more to come, and soon business cards to hand out!

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Business cards

I designed my business cards today! Of course I’ll need to update some of the info once my website is up and running but I’m super excited that soon I will have something to hand out to my current and future customers. I’m pretty pumped about it. Things really are moving along. It’s scary but so exciting! I just had to share. I’ll post a picture once they come in!

This last couple of weeks have been rough so I’ve just been digging into candles even more. It really helps putting my energy into the candles. When I’m feeling down and like I’m on the verge of a breakdown, I do candle work, so needless to say I got a lot done with the business cards, my Mission Statement and really just working on back office stuff these last couple weeks. I also reached out to a local store to see about them carrying my product. Candles really do help my recovery. I don’t have a lot of opportunity to go to meetings, though I’ve been reaching out more and asking for help so that I can. I wanted a meeting this week but wasn’t able to go. So instead I’ve been doing more candle stuff and making sure to do my daily reading. Actually something I read on Wednesday made me start bawling the moment I saw the words. It said “I knew my recovery was working when I saw the alcoholic as a human being”. Isn’t that the truth. I knew in that moment that I was doing everything exactly as I am supposed to. This business being a huge part of that. For a long time I held in a lot of pain and resentment. Honestly I didn’t want to be angry because deep down inside I always knew that my alcoholic didn’t have a choice. Which I guess is why I did everything exactly the way I did. And being able to put everything from my recovery into these candles, is only going to make this business grow that much more! 🙂 Stay tuned Tender Flame followers because there is just so much on the horizon!

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Gosh darn it, now a good friend and colleague of mine, has convinced me that I can do this without a degree. And I think he’s right. Now what do I do? I literally have to just keep jumping into every next step, and pray. That’s what I need to do. Why does it have to be so scary though?? I’m completely terrified of being successful. And I know I will be… which doesn’t help. I anticipate lots of tears in my future. Happy, emotional, raw tears of overwhelming thankfulness and love. And thats how I know what I’m doing is right. ❤

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Be Aggressive. B. E. Aggressive.

I’ve decided to be a little more aggressive. I have so many things negative going on with my day job, that it’s motivating me even more to get things off the ground to be my own boss and successful business owner. Of course I want to do it right so I’m not just jumping in with both feet by quitting my day job anytime soon but instead, I’m going back to school to finish my degree in Business. I’m only two classes away from two AA degrees and then I’ll transfer to the Bachelor’s program. I’ve been applying for scholarships and will continue to apply for scholarships until I graduate with my Bachelor’s in Business. Of course I understand that it won’t teach me everything I need to know but it will definitely assist me in running my own business. Also, from now on, I am going to ask for the sale with every opportunity that I can. This is my future. My son’s future. My family’s future. It’s what is important to me so I am going to let it motivate me into success because I am no longer going to live in fear. I am going to live in the right now and embrace every moment. Of course I’m nervous and scared, but this is a good thing. A great thing. I’m really excited to see what happens next. What’s great is that school will give me more knowledge and skills I need for exactly what I’m working towards. I think this will be a key step in my recovery… my family’s recovery. And to the success of this business. This journey has not been easy. It’s been one of the hardest things I’ve ever done, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Even on the hardest days, this is still exactly what I want to be doing.

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Another step closer!

Happy Sunday Fun Day Tender Flame followers!

Some exciting things are on the horizon. I may have received my first wholesale customer, and I now have two investors! I am so thankful for the faith and confidence that people have in me and my candles. I also have someone who will be working on my website so that when I’m ready to go live, everything will be done! I’m truly blessed to have so many people help me through this process. Next I’ll be working on borrowing a nice camera so I can take more product photos with props! That should be a lot of fun.

As for today, I’m sending off all of the content I have for the website over to the gal who will be handling it. I may head over to the paint department somewhere so I can pick out the color schemes I want. Just gotta find a ride because both of my vehicles are down for the count… again. In the past, I would have been a mess about it… upset and would find a reason to cope poorly about it, but not anymore. In all truth, the last week has been really rough emotionally dealing with no vehicles on top of everything else but instead of taking it poorly, I am embracing the fact that I don’t have to spend money on gas, and am enjoying that I don’t have to drive since I’m having these medical issues and it hurts to drive anyways. Honestly it’s a win-win. Some people keep telling me to sell more candles to get the money to get my vehicles running but here’s the deal, if I take that money and put it into my cars, then it won’t be going into the business. Every penny I make for my candles, has to go back into my candle business in order for this to be successful. That’s how business works. Until I get my start-up costs back, I won’t be keeping any money for myself, not even for my labor time. It’s an investment I’m willing to make.

This is going to be a fun interesting journey and I’m excited to see where it takes me. I just have to remember that the hardships and hurdles are only temporary. The Serenity Prayer helps every time. Also balancing my work, home, family, business and my personal me time, is all key to my success. It’s a work in progress. Feel free to share things that work for you as I could use all the help I can get. Until next time Tender Flame followers.

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To do, or not to do…

Lately I’ve been down for the count due to some medical issues going on but I’ve been able to get a lot done on this page which is great! Currently I’m working on having more conversations with people about my candles, as well as putting together verbiage and pictures for my Shop page when I finally get it up and running! Apparently I have to pay for a year of the business plan in order to add a plugin for easy shop options, or I have to learn how to build a shop page from scratch. Um, I’m undecided on what direction I’d like to take. I don’t have the $300 needed for the business plan right now but at the same time I don’t want to spend a bunch of time setting up a shop page from scratch and then when I’m finally ready to launch it, I bet I’ll have the $300 for the plan when ultimately a plugin would be the easiest option for the now and for changes later. So I’m just sitting on my options right now. It still allows me more time to get my descriptions and pictures together though. This is a lot of work but all worth it. Just gonna take time, patience and lots of research.

As for my medical stuff, I’m glad I made the candles when I did because as of right now, I can’t make anymore candles until I feel better. I’ve been having odd chest pains for the last two weeks as well as some other symptoms. I’m unable to lift anything or stand for too long so standing at the stove to make candles is out of the question right now. They have yet to figure out exactly what’s wrong but I’m sure we’ll get it figured out soon. I’ve got enough inventory to sell for now so it’s not a big deal since I’m taking this whole process slow. Like I said, all this gives me the opportunity to work on other areas of the business such as the shop page. I’ve also collected all of the IFRA certificates and MSDS sheets for each of the fragrances I use. It’s important that I stay on top of all this and be sure to stay organized. Starting a business really is a lot of work! Stay tuned you guys, and thank you all for your continued support! 🙂

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A Personal Touch

Starting a business is not an easy task. As I’ve mentioned in previous posts, lots of things have stood in my way along this journey but I continue to work through them in whatever way I can because this business means a lot to me. People have asked me before “What if it’s not successful?”, “What if the candles don’t sell?”, “What if it fails?”…. what if, what if, what if. I have no idea what the future holds. I have no idea if I will be successful or not. But here’s what I do know… This business means too much to me to give up without a fight. I know that my candles smell and burn amazing. I know how much hard work and love is put into these candles. And I know that my candles are high quality. I’m positive I have a great product. Now, I’m still working on the selling techniques and putting myself out there… that’s a little harder for me than anyone would expect, especially if you’ve ever met me lol. So, since that’s an area I struggle in, I’ve done lots of research to see ways that may assist in the process. Well, a common theme amongst my research is to share a personal touch about how the business got started so people can feel naturally connected and drawn to what you have to offer. I’ve bounced back and forth with this one for some time. I knew in the beginning that I wanted to share my journey from when I first started Tender Flame to the day that I finally have my own store front (I’ll get there eventually!) and beyond which is why I started this blog, but that was more for like the steps I took to get there and processes, not something personal! It was scary to think about sharing what motivated me in the first place, but it’s good to overcome our fears right?

So, as some of you may have read recently, I wrote a post briefly sharing how I got started with this business. The tip of the iceberg if you will. Things definitely go much deeper than I shared but no need to share all the details at once. I want to keep you coming back for more! For those of you that didn’t read the post, let me catch you up to speed. I started this business because I lost my family to alcoholism. I was heartbroken and trying to find anything that helped me out of the darkness, and candle making is it. I pour all of my love into these candles… And now that I’m seeing more clearly, I’ve decided to also pour my anger, resentment, shame, embarassment, frustration, hurt, fear, doubt, grief, guilt, loneliness, sorrow and every other emotion that comes with recovery, into my candles as well because here’s the truth… In all the times that I have made excuses as to why my candle business has been on hold, the truth is… I was being destructive because I just didn’t know how to cope. I was falling right back into my old habits, feeling sorry for myself, and doing destructive behaviors to take away my pain. It only helps for a short while. Then when the destructive behaviors stop working, and I get my head out of my butt, I try to refocus, but then I slip up again, and again, and again, and fall right back into what I know. As of this moment, I am proud to say I am coping differently now. Actually I haven’t been destructive again for a couple weeks now which is good, but I’m definitely feeling the effects of my many, many times of coping in negative ways over the last couple of years. My emotions are high. This is the longest I’ve been able to keep my focus, in almost two years. Being honest, and vulnerable by adding a personal touch is a big deal for me because that’s not something I normally do. Which I’ll let you in on a little secret… is another reason I don’t cope well; to avoid my own feelings and not have to be honest with myself, or anyone else, and not let anyone in. Which is actually why a lot of alcoholics drink. But here’s the deal, I want a better life for myself. I want to be free from the chains of alcohol and it’s affects. I want to overcome my own trauma and pain. I want to get better in whatever way I can. I also want to focus on more positive things, such as this business which I know WILL be successful. I don’t have all the answers, knowledge or maybe even the know-how to get this up and running over night by any means but I will continue to move forward and make sure that I’m making the right decisions for success, and step one is my continued recovery. Recovery is not something that happens overnight, it is a life long process. Self-care is important to my success in both this business and my recovery so that’s currently my number one priority.

On a different note, now that I’m more focused, I finally dedicated the time to make inventory and stop living in fear. I was so nervous and fearful that I would fail, that I just kept putting it off and holding myself back. But here’s the deal, I have tested so many candle recipes, over and over again. I know they are quality because I made them again and again until I got them right, and tested some more. And now I’m slowly selling the candles, one by one, and people LOVE them!! Having them made and in hand has been good practice for starting conversations about my candles to get my product out there, and it’s been healing for my recovery. I’m finally able to talk about things without bursting into tears. People can ask me questions and I can give them honest answers. Maybe I still tear up sure, I will always be affected by this, it has changed my entire life. But guess what… It’s okay to be vulnerable, and the further into my recovery I am, the easier things will become, and the more my business will grow. Next I just need to learn how to ask for the sale!

Stay tuned Tender Flame followers, because there is much on the horizon.

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The Art of Candle Making

Some might think “I can do that” when it comes to candle making, and thats true, anyone can make a good candle if you’re given all the correct supplies and instructions! When I first started this business, I was given all the right supplies to making my first successful candle. I bought a DIY soy candle making kit off Amazon by CandleWic. It had specific instructions, that when followed exactly, make great candles! They just dont share what wax, wick size or any of the other juicy details to candle making. When I decided that’s what I wanted to do, I went ahead and bought a few candle business books and started my research! Little did I know that there is so much into making a good quality candle! And of course no one shares their exact candle recipes so I pretty much started at square one. I made lots of bad candles before I got it right. There’s definitely an art to candle making. Understanding (at a minimum) basic chemistry, helps a lot! So what makes a good candle??

Well, the number one reason anyone buys a candle is for scent. A good smelling candle is the biggest selling point. I’m sure everyone has bought a candle that smelled amazing off the shelf but as soon as you get it home, you light it and it only smells good for a short time, or not at all. Some turn into full liquid, flames flicker all over, no scent throw (or just smells like wax), or the wax tunnels so its not burning to the edge of the container. These are characteristics of a poorly made candle. An ideal candle will have a good cold and hot scent throw, burn to the edge of the container but only have a half inch deep burn pool, and the flame will not flicker, snub out or have too tall a flame. With soy wax, crystallizing does happen but this can be prevented by pouring slow and at the right temperature. Same for air bubbles. Thats why it is so important to test, test and test some more. I have definitely made my share of bad candles but after lots of research, testing, and evaluating all the data, I’ve finally got it figured out! I have made sure that each candle I make for inventory meets all of the good quality check points! Sooooo many components go into making a quality candle… container size, wax used, fragrance (each fragrance has its own flash point!) wick size (how hot it burns), pouring temperature, how slow you pour, how much you stir the wax while it melts, at what temp you add the fragrance, the temperature of the room your working in and so much more! It’s important to record all of that data during your candle making process.

So let’s go over some of these characteristics and why they’re important.

  • Why does a candle turn to full liquid? The wick is too big. It burns too hot and turns the entire candle into liquid. A quality candle will have a burn pool no more than 1/2″ deep burn pool.
  • What causes tunneling? Tunneling is when the wax on the edge of a candle container doesnt burn so you’ll have 1/4″ or more candle caked to the side of the container. This happens because the wick is too small for the size of the container. Resulting in wasted, unburned wax.
  • Why does my candle smell like wax? This is caused from the wick burning too hot (hotter than the fragrances’ flash point) burning off the fragrance so theres no scent left.
  • Why does the flame flicker uncontrollably? The wick needs to be trimmed. The wick should always be trimmed to 1/4″ long. If you dont keep it trimmed, the wick will flicker and result in mushrooming.
  • Why does my candle have air bubbles? This typically means that the wax was stirred too much during the melting process, or the candle cooled too quickly resulting in air bubbles getting trapped. This will not affect the way your candle burns.
  • Why does my candle look crystalized? This is typically because it was poured too quickly or at too hot a temperature. It can also be from cooling too quickly.

Now what to do with all this new knowledge?? Next time you buy a candle, be sure to pay attention to see if you got yourself a good quality candle. Stay tuned for a post on How To Get The Most Out Of Your Candle!

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Motivation

This last two weeks have definitely motivated me into business mode. Thankfully too cause its been a long time coming. I spent all day Monday working on a few recipes, making candle inventory, and wow they are amazing! I dont think I could have done a better job! The tops are beautifully smooth, they smell amazing, and the colors are dynamite. Now to sell the inventory… that’s the part I’m honestly dreading because Im a terrible sales person but its the only way to expand so I better figure it out! I have a program retreat this Saturday so maybe I can sell some there. It’ll be nice getting back into the program, even if only for a day. It’s a good way to keep me on track. Sometimes when things come flying at me, I get lost in the chaos. I’m definitely getting better about praying more and refocusing but I need a reminder sometimes. I’m thinking a new tattoo when the budget allows it lol I know these things may seem a little off topic from candles but it all directly relates to my motivation in the next step of this candle journey. I want to be successful. I want to spread the love. I want to keep moving forward and sometimes it’s hard to. Being a single mom in recovery has made this process drag on for so long but it’s all been worth it. Originally I wanted to jump all in and launch right away but this whole process has been necessary for my success. All of my baby steps, research, testing and preparation is all paying off slowly but surely. I appreciate everyone’s continued support in keeping me motivated and moving forward 😁

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Perspective

Well this last week has been quite challenging. It started off with working 5am shifts on little sleep. Working on my fixer upper every day after work until bed time. Three days in a row of that wore on me and I wasn’t even close to done. My muscle help was not readily available so things took me a bit longer than I anticipated so I took Thur/Fri off work to just work on it to alleviate at least that stress and just get it done. Plus my job is stressing me out so I needed a couple days away before I snapped. So I tore apart the engine, pulled the knock sensor, and put it all back together. I cleaned all the parts up, replaced both the lower & upper intake gaskets, both valve cover gaskets, spark plugs & wires, re-loomed some wiring, tightened everything up, had to replace a few bolts and hoses, and had to get crafty with creating my own fuel injector “insulator” aka the grommet that the injectors sit on because one was damaged and it was a spendy special order part from Nissan! I learned a lot of patience with this vehicle. I worked on it in complete silence for about 11 hours on Thursday before I called it quits for the night. Got back to it first thing Friday morning. By noon I had everything back together! I relocated the knock sensor so it wouldn’t be so darn difficult to replace again if necessary. Fired it up and it started the first try! It started smoking right away from the engine compartment and the exhaust so I turned it off immediately. I was not about to have it catch fire or cause more damage. I had my fire extinguisher on standby just in case. Later I remembered that I had got coolant in the fuel by accident when I released the cooling system so it had to burn off. Phew! Started it again and let it burn off. I test drove it around the neighborhood and found that I had fixed the original issue of the exhaust leak and lack of compression going up hills. Buuuuuuuuuut, now I have a hiss coming from under the upper intake thats likely causing my cylinder 2 misfire and rough idle. Myself and my mechanic friend verified all the hoses are good and clamped tight, gaskets are in place properly, and the spark plugs and wires are all good. we both think the grommets need to just be replaced. I’ll find out more on Sunday. At least I got SOMEWHERE with it and it RUNS!! I’m pretty proud of myself. I saved myself a few hundred dollars in labor costs for a mechanic by doing the work myself. Lucky for me, both my dad and one of my best friends taught me a lot about mechanics and I really did pay attention! Still more to do but for now its running. Anyways, I got that taken care of so went about working Saturday to get caught up on my day job uninterrupted. Afterwards, I decided to go to the fair with one of my best friends! It was him, his coworker and myself. We went and walked around for a bit before we were gonna ride rides! Well lucky for us we didnt head straight for rides because my friend started getting winded from walking around so we sat down for him to rest. As we were resting, I realized this situation was worse than just shortness of breath from walking around, he was having chest pains and couldn’t even speak! So I sent his coworker to get a paramedic I had seen just around the corner. He pulled pills out of his pocket so I gave him one not even knowing what they were for. I later found out it was nitro for this exact moment. He took it and then the paramedics came, took his vitals, gave him oxygen and called for help. Backup came quick! Within minutes he was on a gurney and headed to the hospital so I raced down there. His coworker and I got there before the ambulance did. I asked them to update us right away. Well within minutes of their arrival they called a Code Blue!!! I was a mess!! One of my best friends was in there and I had no clue what was happening… completely helpless. All I could do was pray. I prayed so hard. After about 10 minutes someone came to grab us to update us on his condition. He was stable and they were sending him to another hospital because he had a heart attack in the front of his heart… what they call the Widowmaker. There’s a reason they call it that. How scary. His heart stopped twice. Once in the ambulance and again at the hospital. I am so thankful that he is alive! Of course I called him and told him he can’t die on me lol An experience like that really puts things into perspective. The first thing he told me was that this heart attack was a good reminder to never go to bed angry. You never know when your last moment will be. I hope my family, my loved ones, know how much I love them. Which I guess brings me to why I wanted to share this trying week with you.

These last few years have been some of the hardest years I’ve ever had. I mean really hard. And lately things have been extra difficult. There have been many days I didn’t want tomorrow to come because it was just too hard. And yet they still came. All I can do is push through it. I don’t have a choice. I have a family to live for. I have a son to live for. And lucky for me, every time I hit my breaking point, something happens that gives me strength to go on. For instance, how I got started with this whole candle thing in the first place. My family has been affected by alcoholism. In the blink of an eye, without warning, everything changed. That has been one of the hardest things I’ve ever experienced. A family that loves each other unconditionally, just lost. It’s devastating for it to just be over without warning when you know the love is there. Alcoholism is a terrible thing. The day I realized what was happening is the day I said my first prayer… February 2nd, 2016. It’s also the day I went to my first meeting. A day I’ll never forget. For the next couple of years when times were hard and when I was so heartbroken that I didn’t want to go on, I did everything I could to stay busy and take my mind off of the easy way out but prayer wasn’t yet something I quite understood and it wasn’t something I did often. I sang, played guitar, worked long hours, played music constantly to distract myself… I crafted, scrubbed my house until there was nothing left to scrub, got out in the garage and built stuff, worked on my car, mowed my lawn, drove for miles and miles, tried to move on, you name it. Nothing was working. Well one day when I was just about to give up, I turned to prayer out of desperation. I prayed for something, anything to help me. It was then that I saw something I just had to try. I got my hands on a DIY candle making kit. When I made my first candle, I knew that was it. That was what I could pour my love into. My heart break into. And it all just came together. However, starting this business has been one of the most trying experiences. Everytime I think I can finally move forward, something else tries to stand in my way. And each time I’ve wanted to just give up. What’s the point right? Yet somehow everytime I hit that point something magical happens and in my darkest of moments, I am given the strength to take another step forward. How it’s been possible is something I didn’t understand at first but now I realize it’s because in those moments, I pray. Every time I want to give up because times are just too difficult to handle and I just want everything to end already, I pray. When I am faced with the most trying of times, I pray. Im finally starting to realize that prayer is powerful. I pray for Serenity. I pray for Courage. I pray for Wisdom. And I pray for Strength. Most of the time I don’t think about praying. I need to figure out how to remind myself to pray more often because without it… well those are definitely my hardest and darkest times. I tend to lose focus on the big picture when all these things happen that keep making everything more challenging. Last time I prayed as hard as I did Saturday was almost two months ago. Two months ago I wanted to give up. I wanted my life to end. I thought that everyone would be better off without me. I thought that I was a failure. I thought that things would just continue to get worse and worse so whats the point. So… I prayed. Nothing happened. I prayed again, nothing happened. And then I thought an awful thought that I convinced myself to not act on and I prayed one last time… desperately. The next day something happened that I wasn’t expecting. Something that I didn’t understand. Something that meant so much to me but yet I was so confused at the same time. And in that moment I was given the strength I needed to survive another day. So, that following Friday night when the work week was over and I could finally breathe, I turned off my phone, locked myself in my house and prayed from Friday to Sunday! I was so thankful that all I could do was pray some more! Praying gave me the strength to trust that everything will be okay and make it through another day. It gave me the strength to get through some of the most challenging obstacles since then. It gave me the courage to stand tall when all I wanted to do was crumble. I have overcame situations that would have normally turned me into a big mess but I persevered and now I am stronger. Saturday I prayed. It helped me hold myself together long enough to save one of my best friends lives! I had no idea about the power of prayer until the day I lost my family to alcoholism. This last couple of years have been by far my hardest and yet I have held myself together enough to gain the strength so I can handle and overcome what’s still to come. Everything truly does happen for a reason, even if I don’t understand. I pray that everything will be okay. I just have to have faith that it will be. I hope and pray that one day I am given the opportunity to tell my loved ones how much I love and care about them. Sometimes things are still really hard and I just want to give up. When I remember, I pray. I just really need to remember more often that when things take a turn, I should pray. This business means a lot to me. It represents the love one has for family and friends. It represents the power of prayer. It represents the trials and tribulations of alcoholism. It represents more than anyone truly knows. I look forward to the day that I can finally kick off and share this experience with the people who matter most to me. So even though things are slow moving, I will do what I can to make this successful because of what it represents.