This last week has been quite the week. I am officially full swing into motion. I am scared. I keep doubting my abilities. I keep thinking I’m going to fail. I keep having to call my support people for miniature pep talks. It’s especially hard with added pressure that I’ve been experiencing with some outside influences. But I will remain calm, not engage in unhealthy behaviors and stand tall knowing that I am on a journey of helping people. I am doing my best to keep my head above water and not fall into depression, keeping up the momentum. I have worked too hard to fall backwards. Thank goodness for all of the tools in my toolbox, my many self-care activities, and the support that stands behind me and beside me. It’s amazing how different my life is now compared to only a year ago. I am surrounded by wonderful supportive people who believe in me, more than I believe in myself. There are a few who want to see me fail, and I do struggle sometimes not letting that get to me, but with my support and tools, I am doing it. Some days are just easier than others, with ups and downs. I know that for myself, growing up in alcoholic home, coupled with all of the trauma from prior sexual abuse, domestic violence, and the years of being mistreated, has made moments of being put down and mistreated hard to deal with. It means I have to work harder at reminding myself that I am deserving of good things… that I am enough. Because when someone tries to tear me down or projects their own issues and insecurities onto me, I have a bad habit of carrying that stuff as if it were my own. And thankfully I’ve been working years on recovering from people pleasing and not having a voice. It’s new for me, but I think I’m doing okay. Just means that I sometimes take 3 steps forward, 2 steps back and have to hand it over to my Higher Power. At least I’m still taking steps forward. It’s important to me that I continue growing as a person, and continue to work through my prior bad behaviors… people pleasing and my silence included. I guess in that journey, I’ll be setting boundaries which some people just do not like, but they are necessary and there for a reason. Now with recent life changes, I now have the space to go after what I want. I’ve spent this last year doing Research & Development. I have learned so much about my community and the individuals that occupy this community. This is going to be quite the journey. And I look forward to getting the community involved. I just need to find ways to not allow the stresses of outside forces to bring me down. It will be important that I use my tools and my support to help carry me through this uncomfortable and yet exciting time. Stay tuned followers, the best has yet to come! Even if I have a hard time believing it, I know that it’s true.