Here I am again. It’s been a little over 6 months since I wrote last. I decided months ago I needed to take some time to do some healing and just really reflect on all the things that were going on in my life. I was pretty overwhelmed with gratitude and lots of trauma was surfacing. Not to mention some events that happened last year, which really brought a lot of things to light for me but also allowed me to finally get some closure. All the things that have happened were meant to happen just the way they did. I know that’s so cliche but the fact of the matter is, I wouldn’t take any of it back. As some may know, I took on a new job a little over a year ago. And I absolutely love what I do. I work side-by-side with people who are active in addiction, working through recovery, or even just folks who have lived experience. I work with them and help them overcome by partnering with them and teaching them how to be strong, capable individuals by just being there for them, teaching them tools I’ve learned, offering support and helping get them connected to resources that will help them meet their goals. It’s the most rewarding work I’ve ever done. It’s really given me a lot of experience and helped me grow as a person. I feel I am a much better person today, than I was a year ago, five years ago, and even fifteen years ago. I never would have imagined I would be where I am today. This journey has definitely taken me off course though, that’s for sure. I just am grateful though because I have gained a lot of support. I have never had the type of support I have now! I am blessed beyond measure. I’ve come to learn that some people are still just angry, hurt people who take their own internal issues out on those who shine, so of course I am still dealing with some issues that I am very familiar with. The only difference now is that I am that much stronger, that it’s easier for me to not take on the issues of others. I no longer feel the need to carry the weight of the world. Instead I have an army of support people who help me carry it. It’s amazing what all of the hard work and perseverance can do. I can say with confidence that I am a better version of myself than I have ever been. Of course I am still working through a lot of things. I am actively working to overcome some childhood trauma that I repressed for over 20 years. I am still working on gaining the confidence to stand tall without needing to constantly lean on my friends or family. I am still learning my own self-worth. I finally am starting to believe that I am loveable. But I am doing all the work and it feels amazing. I still want to help people. I still want to teach others what I have learned. I still want to offer hope and love to those who are lacking it in their life. I just haven’t figured out how it all ties in together. What I do know though, is that I am going to take my own experience, strength and hope, and turn it into something amazing. Over the next couple of months, once school is out for the summer, I plan to work on the candles again. It’d be great to create a little nest egg, and a customer base, that could potentially help me move more into the direction I am hoping to go. I just have to find a way to put my mission down on paper. To find a way to put my words down in a way that I am understood and my intentions are clear. I’m also still really working hard to not let others affect me. Some days are harder than others. But I will continue to keep learning new tools and be a stronger person, so that I too can help teach others to overcome these hard times that I find as well. And together we will grow stronger, building an army of support and hope. Maybe that’s been my intention this whole time… to build an army of support. To build an army of healthy people who want to join the journey of spreading hope and love to every person they come in contact with. I am doing it and it is coming together, little by little. I know I’ve said it before, and this definitely won’t be the last time, but stay tuned followers… the best has yet to come!