Over the last few weeks, I’ve been debating about no longer posting. The thing is, I’ve been going through a lot and battling depression. Too many things to even construct it into feelings, let alone words. What I know is that I am on the right path. I am doing the right things. And some things aren’t meant to be shared. I also know that by sharing our Experience, Strength and Hope, we help others. That being the whole basis of what this candle business represents, and why it’s turned into something much bigger, tells me I gotta keep doing what I’m doing. I had met with someone who had me doubting myself and my business. They quickly apologized for their part in things and after that, all these things kept happening that assured me that I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing. But the doubt just weighed so much more on me. I’ve always struggled with confidence, self-worth, self-value, and self-doubt. Up until about the last year, I didn’t even believe in myself. Now I do, and I fought those negative feelings as much as I could. I have cried every day because I just didn’t want to believe them, but I did. It was a struggle. I have had to reach out for support a lot and thankfully, I have that support now. I have had to use all the tools that I have learned. I have had to be open and tell people I’m struggling, which is never easy to do. I had to ask someone to give me a daily reminder because things were getting dark. I’m still struggling, but I’m getting better by the day. I imagine this is just like all of the things I’ve struggled with in the past, and that the harder I work on me and focus on me, the more likely I will be to overcome it and soon it will be a distant memory. Just as I mentioned, a year ago I didn’t have the confidence I have today, and even though I’m not where I want to be, I’ve gotten better. Same with courage. That’s actually something I wrote about a few days ago but I deleted the post. I had written that I didn’t have courage. But that’s not true. I have a lot more courage now than I ever have. I was just down on myself because I still have a long ways to go before I have the courage I continue to pray for. That doesn’t mean I don’t have any courage. It just means, I still have a lot of growing to do. One day, I hope to have the courage to say what’s in my heart without worrying about F.E.A.R. I admire those who have that courage, even with everything people go through and all the trauma people carry, I’m surrounded by people who are authentically themselves and love fearlessly. This too shall pass, and one day I too will have that courage. Trust me when I say, this part of my journey, directly affects what is to come. I know I’ve been vague about what my plans are with this business, but things are coming together and will hopefully be more public soon. Oh am I nervous about it, but I know it will be great and I have so many supporters standing behind me and joining me in this journey. It’s actually pretty ridiculous I keep doubting myself. I know that it’s internal and awareness is key, so growth is on it’s way. I just have to be patient with myself. Stay tuned followers, the best has yet to come.