It’s been a couple of weeks since I’ve written. Honestly I don’t really have anything particular that comes to mind to share but I figured it’d be worth putting my fingers to the keys to see what transpires. These last couple of weeks have been something else. So much so that I really just don’t know how to put it into words. Many things have happened, that all just remind me of why all of this is important to me. For those who don’t know what I currently do for my day job, I’ll give you a little background. I consider my day job ‘Research and Development’ for helping me construct this business and this ‘R&D’ is a very important piece of the puzzle. I work with the vulnerable community and help connect those individuals to resources. Most of what I do is getting to know people, and help encourage them to keep going even when they have all the reasons in the world to give up. I respond to crisis in the community and I partner with local law enforcement. That’s a pretty cool part of my job. I work with my participants to help them rediscover their true selves while they work to overcome their past traumas, addiction, lack of self-worth, and so many other things. It’s some of the most rewarding work I have ever done. I never imagined I would be doing something like this. I also never imagined that I would have the tools that I have today, that I get to share with so many others. This work can also be really, really hard. I’ve lost multiple people this month by both addiction and suicide. That’s never easy. I know for myself, I work really hard to put one foot in front of the other, and take things One Day At A Time. I’m also only human so some days are easier than others. It’s funny how the most hurt people are the best at helping others. I’m grateful for all of the support I have now because without them, I don’t think I would be where I am today. Every single day I think about giving up. I doubt myself. I struggle with it just like many others do. And now that I’m healthier than I was before, thankfully I ask for help… I go to my support people, even when I’m feeling really sad… I allow myself to be vulnerable. Sure I get hurt. It’s kind of part of the process. It’s what I do with it that really matters. About a year ago, I opened myself up again and allowed myself to be vulnerable, which ended in getting hurt. I want to say ‘unfortunately’, but I really can’t, because like I said, I allowed myself to be vulnerable again and that I never thought was gonna be possible. And sure things didn’t work out the way I had hoped but I know that they worked out the way they should have. And it’s taken me the last 6 months to catch my bearings but I think I finally am there. Yesterday was quite the day. Holidays are always really hard. Lonely. It was nice though, just my son and I. And right when I was feeling really down, I got this random phone call from a friend who gave me a little reminder that everything really does happen as it should. And it’s okay to feel sad that things don’t happen the way we want them to. We just have to pick ourselves up, dust ourselves off and try again. The point is that we don’t stay down. I’ve always admired those who bounce back so quickly. I’ve never been that type. I am truly blessed to have so many support people in my life that put their hand out to help me up when I don’t have the strength to do it on my own. So here I go… I will brush myself off and try again, and again, and again, if that’s what it takes. I hope you as a reader can gain something from my ‘mumbo-jumbo’ nonsense. You see, I am still actively working on finding the right language to share my story in a way that will help other people. In my current employment, I am gaining lots of experience now that I am a Certified Peer Counselor, as well as a Certified Crisis Intervention Specialist-II. Lots of hands-on as you can probably imagine. The training I am receiving will all help me as I continue in this journey of figuring out my place in all of this. What I do know, is that my heart feels strongly to help encourage others in ways that I was not capable of years ago. It took me hitting my own rock-bottom in order for me to get better. And I didn’t have someone there to help me, the way I get to help others. And people don’t have to hit rock-bottom to get better. What I do every day, I consider to be a Living Amends. It feels like the only way worthy enough to show that I am sorry for my past wrong-doings and that I am not the same person I once was, all while not hurting people further. I could be quite hurtful back in the day so there’s much to amend. I hope now you as a reader have a better understanding as to why I do the things that I do and what I hope this business will represent. Apparently I had more to say than I thought I did. I look forward to when I feel ready to take the next steps in this journey. I’m not there yet, but I know it will come and it will be beautiful. Stay tuned followers.